


I Want You (She's So Heavy)

by Blackrising



Category: 2 Broke Girls
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Lapdance, No Sex, Strap-Ons, Tumblr Prompt, because I'm a bad bad tease
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-06
Updated: 2015-02-06
Packaged: 2018-03-10 20:29:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3302468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blackrising/pseuds/Blackrising
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tumblr prompt:  "Caroline gives Max a lap dance/strip tease. Your choice as to what happens after."</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Want You (She's So Heavy)

"Alright, I’m ready. Hit it."

Caroline reached for the (borrowed, because they were just that piss-poor) stereo, when Max’ voice made her halt.

"Oh, wait!"

The baker reached under the upholstery of their rickety couch and pulled out an unmarked bottle of clear liquid.  
“Earl has the best hobbies”, she explained at Caroline’s questioning stare and took a few big swigs of the alcohol, the no doubt acid stuff going down her throat like water. When she was satisfied, the bottle disappeared back into the couch and Max leaned back, throwing one hand over the back of it and stuffing one hand into the waistband of her pants. She opened her legs as far as they would go, and grinned, the epitome of a sleazy john. If the john were an attractive brunette with big boobs, that is.

Caroline resisted the urge to stomp her foot. “Max, please take this seriously.”

”I AM taking this seriously!”, Max insisted, the amused smirk still firmly attached to her face. “If I took this any more seriously, I’d have to actually shove money down your panties and we both know we can’t afford that.”

The corners of the blonde’s mouth perked up, affection warring with exasperation on her face. “If you weren’t my best friend and if I hadn’t asked you to do this, I’d be slightly annoyed right about now, just for the record.”

"Well then, just for the record", Max imitated with raised eyebrows and as earnest as humanly possible, "I’m not actually doing this to help you. I’m just looking forward to seeing you embarrass yourself. And I’ve always wanted to know what having a dick feels like."

She adjusted the strap-on between her legs for good measure.

It had been a weird request, Caroline had to admit. Asking Max to be the first tester for her new-found lap-dancing skills was one thing (also strange, but probably not too bad when weighted against everything else she’d done in her life), but asking her to wear a strap-on for realism might have gone a bit too far. Max hadn’t protested, however, and Caroline figured in the brunette’s convoluted world view, this whole situation most likely fell under the category ‘Just Another Tuesday’.

That didn’t keep Caroline from feeling slightly embarrassed about the whole thing, though. Or from thinking that Max looked surprisingly…intriguing, slouching there on the couch with one of her trademark sarcastic smiles and her hand cupping the fake appendage trapped in her dark jeans. The blonde shook her head.

"Still", she smiled teasingly. "My girly parts will thank you if I manage to rope in the real thing with this."

Max shrugged. “You know me, I’m all for you getting in touch with your inner man-eater.” She grinned. “Especially if it means you’ll spend more time getting laid at his place and less time masturbating at mine.”

Caroline ignored the jab, reaching for the stereo again. She’d dimmed the lights beforehand, which wasn’t too difficult considering they’d been using candles for the last few days anyway, and had made sure to wear the sexiest and trashiest outfit in her possession (which, for Max, probably still constituted as prudish), a sinfully short skirt to emphasise her long legs and a short top that barely covered her chest, much less her midriff. For realism, of course.

A sensual, but upbeat rhythm filled their small flat and Caroline breathed in deeply. She was nervous, probably too much, and she reminded herself that this was Max. Just Max. No matter what Caroline did, Max would…well, she would definitely judge her and make fun of her, but it was the way she did it that always made Caroline feel like whatever she’d done wrong, it didn’t affect the brunette’s opinion of her one bit.

She didn’t ask Max again if she was ready (she’d just get another sarcastic comment anyway) and started swaying her hips from side to side. She remembered what the online course had said about eye-contact and expression and caught the brunette’s eyes, plastering a confident (if a bit forced) smile on her face.  
Caroline turned around, bending down in one smooth movement and wiggling her ass to the beat. She thought she’d heard a sound behind her, but chalked it up to one critter or another fleeing into the safety of their flat while they were distracted. She straightened, arching her back and twisting her body as she did so, so as to throws Max an over-the-shoulder look.  
Max was still smiling, though noticably more subdued. She seemed pleased by her performance so far, or at least she wasn’t laughing, and it turned Caroline’s confidence up a notch.

She turned around fully and sauntered closer to the seated woman, exaggerating the movements of her hips as she did so, until she stood just in front of her. Her smirk (a genuine one, now) grew a few inches when Max’ eyes followed her approach, running up her legs and her torso before looking into Caroline’s again.  
Laying her hands on Max’ knees, Caroline bent at the knees, leaning forward until she could look up at the brunette from between her legs. She ran her fingers up Max’ legs, from her knees to the tops of her thighs, the touch featherlight and teasing.

Caroline watched, fascinated, as the smile on the baker’s face faltered, becoming wooden, and her jaw started to shift into a gesture of…what? Displeasure, discomfort, nervousness? The blonde couldn’t tell.  
On the way back down, she lightly scratched at the fabric of the brunette’s jeans, watching her face intently. Another twitch in her right cheek, another shift of her jaw. This time, she actually averted her eyes.

Eyes that were just a tad darker than before when they returned.

Caroline gulped. A part of her was insisting she stop this right now, that the whole practice session had already gone too far and only promised to get more out of control. Another part of her was exhilarated at the thought of her sarcastic, I-don’t-give-a-damn roommate getting just a tad wound up by all this.

She stood up and repeated the motion from earlier, turning around and bending over, except this time she used Max’ knees for support and moved close enough that the curve of her buttocks pressed ever so lightly against the front of the brunette’s jeans. Another sound reached her ears, and this time, Caroline was fairly sure that it had been Max gasping quietly.  
She began to move, slowly, grinding down into the brunette without actually applying any pressure and was rewarded with Max’ breathing growing heavier underneath her. The small puffs of air trailing down her back sent a shiver through her body.

From the corners of her eyes, Caroline could see one of Max’ hands lying on the edge of the seat. It trembled slightly before the brunette suddenly grabbed onto the fabric, burying her fingers in it until her knuckles turned white.  
The sight was pleasant, to put it mildly. Subconsciously, Caroline began to grind harder, allowing the contact to be longer and firmer. This time, the gasp tumbled from her own lips at the sensation of the bulge in Max’ pants rubbing against her. She’d completely forgotten about the strap-on. Her actions were met with a shuddering breath from the brunette.

Throwing caution to the wind, Caroline stood to face her roommate and proceeded to the final stage of the ‘presentation’. The couch made the endeavour just a bit harder to do than it would have been if they’d actually possessed a proper chair, but the fact that the smile had completely left Max’ face, leaving her instead with slightly opened lips and dark, wide eyes (definitely nervousness this time), caused Caroline to simply not care that she might look way less elegant than planned.  
Climbing up on the piece of furniture, she settled with her knees on either side of Max’ hips, her own hovering just above the brunette’s crotch.

The music was still going strong in the background, having cycled through two more songs since they began, but Caroline had long since tuned it out. She wasn’t moving to the melody anymore, simply swaying her hips to her own rhythm and letting Max’ reactions guide her.

Her hips moved in a figure eight above the other woman and she traced her shoulders with her fingertips, watching Max’ face twitch. She looked pained, almost, and Caroline found that the thought of Max having to hold herself back made a pulsing heat start to simmer low in her stomach.

She lowered her body bit by bit, Max’ eyes practically glued to where the distance between them slowly started to vanish.  
Caroline pressed their hips together and, with one look at the tongue that appeared to wet the brunette’s lips, began to grind against her, harder than what would be appropriate for a lapdance, but neither of them was about to point that out.

The bulge of the strap-on pressed between Caroline’s legs and she choked down a groan. What came out was more of a whine, but sounded no less needy. Max gulped visibly, hips twitching in sympathy. What had started as at least the pretense of an innocent lapdance quickly turned into all-out humping, Caroline’s grip on her shoulders tightening as she pressed herself against the brunette again and again, skirt riding up to her hips. Max was strangely more hesitant, only allowing herself the smallest of movements, her hands still gripping the seat as though her life depended on it.

"Caroline", she finally choked out, and the deep rasp of her voice made Caroline clench her jaw shut to keep from making any embarrassing noises. Her hips didn’t still. "Caroline, maybe we should-"  
Max’ words were interrupted when Caroline found just the right angle and bucked her hips hard, all attempts at dancing having been put on hold, and the brunette breathed in sharply, closing her eyes for a moment.

"CAROLINE."

Caroline finally snapped out of her lust-induced trance at the sharp yell and blinked down at Max, confusion written all over her face.  
The baker chuckled dryly, avoiding her eyes. “Easy there, tiger. You’re supposed to give the guys a boner, not make them jizz their pants.” The joke fell flat, Max’ voice devoid of her usual humour, and the awkwardness began to press in on them.

Caroline’s face flooded scarlet at the obvious rejection.

"Right, sorry", she stammered, scrambling off the other woman’s lap as fast as her high heels would allow and turning the stereo off with more force than necessary. The sudden silence only served to emphasise the heavy atmosphere. "Guess I just got carried away, I mean, what with the whole realism thing and it’s probably best if we just forget about it. Like that one time I went to a dog show and absolutely ruined my best Jimmy Choos with poop and-"

The look on Max’ face - pure discomfort - only made the situation worse.

"And…let’s just pretend this never happened, okay?", she trailed off, shoulders slumping in defeat. "Or let’s skip to the part where you tease me about needing to get laid and we can act like I didn’t completely misinterpret this situation."

She pulled her shoulders up in an automatic defense gesture. Max opened her mouth, obviously intending to say something, but no sound came out. Caroline raised her hands, smiling weakly and forestalling whatever excuse her roommate had prepared. She’d never been particular talented at keeping her emotions hidden from anyone, although for once she wished she was.

"Look, it’s fine if you don’t want to sleep with me. You don’t see me that way, I get it. No harm done. We’ll just go back to, you know, being us. Being friends and business partners."

Max still didn’t respond and Caroline took it as a confirmation, turning on her heels to head for the back door. A bit of quality time with Chestnut seemed like just what she needed at the moment. At least he loved her. Or the carrots she gave him. Same difference.

She’d almost crossed to the kitchen when the brunette managed to respond, and it made her halt.

"You’re my best friend."

Caroline turned back, brow furrowed. “And you’re mine, Max. As I said, it’s alright. I’m your friend and you’re mine and that’s the way it will stay if you want it to.”

Max shook her head and crossed her arms in front of her ample chest, huffing in frustration. “That’s not what I meant. I mean, you’re my best friend and I…I don’t…”

She stopped again, taking a deep breath. Whatever she meant to say, it was obviously difficult for her. Caroline had known her long enough to understand that Max and emotions didn’t always go hand in hand. Max trying to talk about her feelings was both a rare and a very complicated, drawn-out process.  
Pushing aside her own feelings, the blonde approached her roommate. “What is it, Max?”

The baker pushed out a breath and made a visible effort to relax her shoulders. “I don’t wanna fuck it up”, she said finally, chewing at the inside of her cheek. “Whenever I start…something…with someone, I always end up pushing them away or I catch them cheating or they turn out to be married. Point is, all my relationships have ended with me hating them or with them hating me or both.”

Understanding dawned on Caroline’s face and despite her sadness at hearing Max so unsure about her relationship capabilities, she felt a small flame of hope come to life in her chest. Max hadn’t rejected her.

"And you’re probably…most likely, you know, maybe the most important person in my life."

The last part was mumbled quietly into her own hand, but Caroline heard it and a grin started to form on her face. Max was still to busy avoiding eye contact that she didn’t see it.

"And anyway, I just kinda don’t wanna lose that just because I’m a screw-up who can’t keep it in her pan-"

Caroline grabbed the brunette’s face with both of her hands and crashed their lips together, sacrificing finesse for enthusiasm and, hopefully, reassurance.  
Max had the most adorable look of perplexity on her face when the blonde eventually pulled back, lips still pursed and brows drawn together.

"I’ll always be here, Max", Caroline said with a happy smile before her roommate could make a comment. "No matter what happens. Even if it turns out we aren’t romantically compatible, I’ll still be with you. And you want to know why?"

"Because you’re so poor the rats in this building have started giving you food and no one else will put up with you?"  
Max’ voice was still scratchy and quiet, but some of her trademark sarcasm had wormed its way back into her tone.

"That too", the blonde conceded, winking teasingly. "But more importantly, it’s because I was your friend first. Your best friend. And that is what I’ll stay, no matter how our relationship evolves."

Max rolled her eyes, but a small smirk tugged at the corners of her full lips. “Great motivational speech. Are you done or should we call in sick for the rest of the week?”

"Almost."

Caroline surged forward again, pressing another short kiss to Max’ mouth, humming at the sensation. The brunette really had the most kissable lips. Not that it wasn’t plain to see, but feeling it for herself was another thing altogether.

"We’ll work it out", she said as they seperated. "Alright, now I’m done."

"Finally", the baker scoffed, although her pale cheeks were noticably redder than usual. Max shoved the blonde lightly. "Now scoot, I gotta bake another thirty cupcakes for tomorrow and I can’t do that when you’re all up in my space."

She took a step, then stopped, sheepishly. “Aaand I should probably take off my dick.”

A smirk bloomed on Caroline’s face as her gaze trailed over the other woman’s crotch. “Or…you could keep it on.”

She brushed past Max, letting one of her hands brush the fake appendage and giving it a short squeeze for good measure. The strangled sound that left Max’ throat followed Caroline out the back door.

**Author's Note:**

> You know, I used to hate it when fanfiction authors dangle smut in front of my nose just to snatch it away at the last moment. Whoops.


End file.
